Kelf’s Arcanum – Familiarity
For more information on what the “Arcanum” is all about, visit the main category page.
Style: Conversation build-up
Time to write: 20 minutes (5 minute editing)
Subject: The build-up of emotions over conversation
Inspirations: Insomnia, making mistakes and realizing them, personal experiences, “River of Gold” by Daniela Andrade
He was staring at the ground while she was still still holding her tear-soaked face in her hands. Tears running through her fingers, her hands not doing what she wanted them to; keep the pain hidden. He could see all of it and what is worse is that he knew he was the cause of this pain.
“I cannot stop thinking that this is it… is this what it all meant to you? Is this what you always thought of us” she asked while extending her arms and making various intense gestures with them. Her arms were flailing in the air with so much anger, as if she was trying to react to things being thrown at her. Metaphorically speaking, she had already tried to deflect a lot of hurtful things that night so it was only reasonable that she would be so much on guard now.
“It is not that simple. You know it is not and if you know me as much as you say you do, you will eventually understand why it happened” he said in a very calm voice while staring at his feet for the entire duration his mouth produced any sort of sound. It is not that he was embarrassed but it was the fact that he was too tired of this circling conversation he had been involved in ever since he came back to the apartment.
“So where does that leave us? Where does the hurt take us and what am I supposed to do about this!?” she yelled at him, getting off her seat and coming closer to him. By the time her sentence had finished, she was now next to him. Not touching him but her face being only centimeters away from his. She was not sure if she wanted something from him or if it was just that she needed to feel loved right that very moment. “Speak damn it!”
He raised his head and started whispering softly towards her, “no matter how many times we go through this, you will still be in pain. It has now happened and there is not much I can do about it. Not much, except be here, tell you that I am still here and just hold you until the pain goes away.” As soon as he said the last word, he took a good glimpse of her sorrow-drowned eyes before putting his arms around her to bring her close for a hug.
His body now touching hers, she could feel his entire presence, warm and loving, just like she always knew it. It was somewhat comforting, because it reminded her of a familiarity that has always been there. Something she has always trusted and believed in. Something she could fall back to. She was still scared and hurt though. She was sure of that.
Her body was now in his arms and he could feel every part of her being shaking in fear and uncertainty. He smelled her neck thinking he might actually lose that some day. He took a deep breath and tried to take in as much of the experience, of being with her, as he could. He was afraid. Afraid of inevitability and loss. He no longer knew what to think about.
“I love you” she whispered with her tremor-filled voice.
“I love you too” he replied with confidence.
Notes on writing this piece:
I wanted to write something that had dialog in it. However, I do not feel confident enough to just make a dialog out of the blue with no context to back it up. I usually create characters with narratives behind them so suddenly creating a piece with just dialog proved very difficult. My solution to that was to just create an alternating narrative between two people that each experience the same situation in their own way. That way, the reader gets to follow the conversation and also understand each person’s perspective.
The mystery of each character’s feelings is still there. The reader is only given a small amount of time to focus on each person each time and through that, we create a complete image that is just focused on the intensity of the feelings that the two people are going through.
This was quite fun and it somewhat brings me back to one of the things I have wanted to do the most, which is to write a story with two completely different perspectives. Two characters, both involved in the same story with their own feelings and points of view. I should get to writing that at some point for sure. I was going to make it a detective story and if I liked the story enough, I would even build it up enough to make a small novel out of it.
Alas, life is moving fast lately and I am glad I have enough time to write at least these things for now. Next up, I will try to write more fantasy or sci-fi oriented stuff.
~Konstantinos “Kelfecil” Christakis